And to think this day started out so nice....

And now it ends like this...

Liam requested that I add him on FaceBook today...which, being the generous soul that I am, did. Then I thought...Why not catch up on what he's been up to since he blocked me however many weeks ago it was. So I skip over to his page and start checking out what's been going on in his world...and just for the hell of it I thought I'd check out his info page...see if he'd changed his mobile number yet again. *Now this was a REALLY bad move on my part* It was then that I saw that he is in a relationship now...and it isn't with me. It seems as if he got over me real quick (or if he needed to get over me at all) and found himself someone closer. And yes...I AM upset, but I'm also totally pissed off that he didn't even have enough respect for me to say a fucking thing about it...not even a damned email! I am morally out raged that he just moved on so fast. And my pride has been bruised and my ego scratched. I don't need all this anger that he's bringing up, so I've purged him from my life and my computer....EVERYTHING is GONE! Everything he sent me, every email, every photo....gone! I mean so little to him...I'll return the favour and harden my heart to him. I've deleted him from FaceBook and messed with my settings so he can't come and just look at my page...It was suggested to me that I leave it the way it was, but the thought that he "could" come and look, but not, really didn't sit so well with my whole ego/pride thing....and I've deleted him from my email lists and my Flist on LiveJournal...well, as much as one can ever delete someone on LiveJournal...^_^...the only thing I have left to do is get rid of his photos...but lucky for me I put those in a draw a while back...so I don't have to look at them right now. I will get rid of them, and I may surprise myself and find that I'll be able to do it this weekend...

So, he hasn't bothered to say anything to me...

But, really, what can I expect? He did leave me for his issues after all. *sigh*

Gods, I will be so glad when he's no longer a concern. I shudder to think of all the time and energy I've expended over all this shit. And I won't mention what I've put my girls through! And all of that over a man???? Fuck-me-sideways! What the hell was I thinking? Was I thinking??? There's the $62 million dollar question. I do know what I felt for him. And I do know that could rapidly turn into hatred if I let it. I also know that if I'm not really careful, the whole thing could increase my cynicism ten-fold (as if I need that).

Well, well, well

It seems that my leaving him hasn't affected him in the least. So much for the "loving forever" bit. Now I'm just pissed off. I'm pissed that I meant so little to him and that I never saw his words for what they were...hollow...

Gods, how stupid was I???? To let someone that far into my heart and not even see them for what they really were...