And to think this day started out so nice....

And now it ends like this...

Liam requested that I add him on FaceBook today...which, being the generous soul that I am, did. Then I thought...Why not catch up on what he's been up to since he blocked me however many weeks ago it was. So I skip over to his page and start checking out what's been going on in his world...and just for the hell of it I thought I'd check out his info page...see if he'd changed his mobile number yet again. *Now this was a REALLY bad move on my part* It was then that I saw that he is in a relationship now...and it isn't with me. It seems as if he got over me real quick (or if he needed to get over me at all) and found himself someone closer. And yes...I AM upset, but I'm also totally pissed off that he didn't even have enough respect for me to say a fucking thing about it...not even a damned email! I am morally out raged that he just moved on so fast. And my pride has been bruised and my ego scratched. I don't need all this anger that he's bringing up, so I've purged him from my life and my computer....EVERYTHING is GONE! Everything he sent me, every email, every photo....gone! I mean so little to him...I'll return the favour and harden my heart to him. I've deleted him from FaceBook and messed with my settings so he can't come and just look at my page...It was suggested to me that I leave it the way it was, but the thought that he "could" come and look, but not, really didn't sit so well with my whole ego/pride thing....and I've deleted him from my email lists and my Flist on LiveJournal...well, as much as one can ever delete someone on LiveJournal...^_^...the only thing I have left to do is get rid of his photos...but lucky for me I put those in a draw a while back...so I don't have to look at them right now. I will get rid of them, and I may surprise myself and find that I'll be able to do it this weekend...

So, he hasn't bothered to say anything to me...

But, really, what can I expect? He did leave me for his issues after all. *sigh*

Gods, I will be so glad when he's no longer a concern. I shudder to think of all the time and energy I've expended over all this shit. And I won't mention what I've put my girls through! And all of that over a man???? Fuck-me-sideways! What the hell was I thinking? Was I thinking??? There's the $62 million dollar question. I do know what I felt for him. And I do know that could rapidly turn into hatred if I let it. I also know that if I'm not really careful, the whole thing could increase my cynicism ten-fold (as if I need that).

Well, well, well

It seems that my leaving him hasn't affected him in the least. So much for the "loving forever" bit. Now I'm just pissed off. I'm pissed that I meant so little to him and that I never saw his words for what they were...hollow...

Gods, how stupid was I???? To let someone that far into my heart and not even see them for what they really were...

I've had enough.

And I refuse to take any more from him! If he thinks it is OK to post to EVERYONE what is happening to him and him not even make the bloody effort to contact me, well, he has another thing coming!

So we are done. Not even a year and we're done...and strangely, I'm not sad...pissed off, yes and insulted and a very bruised ego and battered pride. But not sad.

Ok, what the hell has happened now?????

Status: Stuffed if I know...I now have an unspecified amount of time to sit and twiddle my damned thumbs while his Lordship gets his shit together....again....

Fuck me sideways! Why I even bother is beyond me...all I seem to get is grief and heartache...doesn't he understand what this does to me? Doesn't he care? He understands and he cares, he just isn't capable of seeing...he can't see that there is light at the end of the tunnel...he can't see that if he just sucks it up a little longer everything will be right. He can't see any of that, and it's me that ends up suffering while he works it all out.

I hate this shit so much!!!!!!!!!!!

How a Father can drive a grown woman to distraction!

And he can do that simply by sitting on his bloody arse, not doing the job he started (which he'd already put off for a fucking week!), watching the damned TV! I know the moment I say one bloody word about it, he'll crack the shits something severe and the job will NEVER get finished.
I'd love to get Mum to get his arse into gear and finish it, but the poor love didn't sleep well last night, and is catching up on that sleep now...though that doesn't stop me being tempted to go wake her up! I am just so bloody evil!!!!!

I hope I got this sorted out...

Or something that looks like sorted...

I do so like my personal life and my plans for world domination separated! *snicker*